Let’s talk about grief and loss. If we’re around long enough, we will all go through some loss. That’s life. Whether it’s a grandparent, parent, child, friend or family pet, we will suffer some form of loss. It can be very devastating emotionally. You may be harboring some feelings of guilt or anger.
Maybe you have guilt because you feel you should have visited more, or been there when they were in need. You might even think it should have been you instead. To validate the individual’s passing, some hold on to the feelings of grief and loss for far too long.
- What if the roles were reversed?
- What if, it was me that passed, and my loved ones were left behind?
- Would I want them to be feeling the sadness that I’m feeling now?
- Would I want them to be feeling a hole in their heart? I think not. They don’t want that for you either. You know this to be true.
Now, there is a period for mourning and grief and it’s different for everyone. Too often we focus on the individual’s passing and can’t get pass that. However, once you choose to move through the grief we can assist you in releasing the negative emotions and trauma around the loss.
Then, you can begin to validate the full life of the individual. You can remember the ups and downs, the good times as well as the not so good times. The full measure of their lives as you would want to be remembered. It beats focusing on their passing.
That’s a misnomer too. Because what really happens is you start to invalidate the life you had with them. Why, you might ask? Because you have to continue to live life; I have kids to take care of and bills to pay. Every time I think of you I break down and start to cry. I can’t take it anymore. Your mind will protect you and stop thinking about the grief and feelings of loss for the individual.
Again, release the trauma (grief and loss) of the passing and begin to validate the full measure of their life.